My Great Exodus: Following in the Footsteps of the Prophet Moses
Choosing Moses #
There are just so many ways to travel the world today! One of the ways is super amazing to me though - to explore the world by following routes that historical religious figures created, what historians call “pilgrimages”. Maybe you could call it a trend, but frankly I’m all about it. I’m an atheist (like Anthony Bourdain), but have ultimate respect for people who want to get out there and travel like a historical religious figure!
What I truly believe is that, as travelers, we have a responsibility to not let these historical religious figures be forgotten by imitating them and becoming as enlightened as they were. We can do this by having the same amazing travel experiences as they did! The most popular pilgrimage route in the whole world is the Camino de Santiago in Spain where you walk a path to find St. James’ remains in a cathedral. I think that is pretty amazing, but who really wants to see the body parts of some dead guy? I decided to do something better than that and follow the ways of a near forgotten spiritual leader: Moses (I’m honestly not sure if he was a saint or not).
The memory of Moses was nearly wiped out by fascism in the 20th century, so it is obviously a great responsibility of mine to keep his memory alive. I packed my bags with fervor and grabbed a first class flight to Tel el-Dab’a in the Nile Delta, the location scholars agree that The Exodus of the Israelites began. Anthony Bourdain also thought it’s where the Exodus began.
Begining the Exodus #
I arrived at Tel el-Dab’a, and after a little jaunt about town, I can say it definitely was not what I expected. Overall, it’s a pretty drab looking place. I wanted to see some culture! I mean, nobody loves Egyptians more than me, but there just wasn’t much culture going on. Just some farms and ancient structures. O well, I thought, I have bigger things to do here than criticize Egyptians. I have to do what Moses did. It’s what Anthony Bourdain would have wanted.
I hired a group of three Egyptian trekking guides to help guide me through The Exodus and carry all my gear and luggage. I wanted the Egyptians to be wearing their head garments on the journey, for cultural reasons, but they weren’t. It really made me a little upset. Before we left Tel el-Dab’a I demanded we stop at a gas station so I could buy head garments for them. Turbans they called them. They looked so authentic and amazing that I had a painting commissioned of my favorite guide. Koorush I think his name was.
My commissioned painting of Koorush the Egyptian travel guide. I have it hanging in my atrium at home.
I hired a car service to get to the next stop on The Exodus of the Israelites, a place called Pi-HaHiroth on the shore of the Red Sea. There wasn’t really much interesting stuff here, and I’m just really not a desert person, so I stepped out of the car only for a few minutes. Even though it was really hot out, I did manage to stand at the shore and envision being Moses himself, parting the Red Sea to bring the Israelites to freedom.
I felt an overwhelming sense of importance as I imagined myself to be Moses, lifting the waters to let his people go through.
My Fortunes Take a Turn #
We continued by car to the next stop on the Exodus, a place called Rephidim. The Egyptians hauling my gear and luggage were traveling by camel and moving pretty slow (I requested they use camels for the cultural value), so I decided to do some sightseeing while waiting for them to catch up to me.
I walked outside town for a little nature after being in the car and was extremely underwhelmed. Everything was just so brown, and all the plants were really dry and scraggly, I think they had a disease or something. I was afraid to go near any of the plants because I thought they would scratch me, so I turned around and went to walk around in the small town. The town was, to be honest, boring. An expanse of bland stone huts and some middle eastern people. And it was just so hot out! The head coverings the women were wearing must be so oppressive in this heat! They probably sweat so much under there, which increases the oppression. Anthony Bourdain fought for Islamic women’s rights.
The Egyptians finally showed up after I waited around for over sixteen hours in the heat. I suppose I thought camels were faster than they were, but it was okay because all three Egyptian guides arrived safely to Rephidim, and safety is what is most important. When the guides arrived they were very dehydrated, and one of them asked if they could have some of the Gatorade I had in the car. I had three 20 oz bottles of Arctic Blitz Gatorade in a cooler, but it was just so hot out that I had to refuse to give them away. I was thirsty too, and there wasn’t anywhere in town to get more.
The Egyptians started to get hostile with me, which I really did not like, since I was paying for their services. One of them threatened me for my Arctic Blitz Gatorade, and that moment was when I decided that I had just had enough. I put my brave face on and demanded they leave me to do the rest of the Exodus on my own. The Egyptians yelled something at me in their native language, and I replied by calmly stating that Gatorade is not available in town, so I can’t spare any of it. After clearly and assuredly communicating my perspective, the Egyptians yelled at me again and left. Sometimes when you travel, you meet difficult people and have to stay calm and let them know that they’re wrong. I spent hours and hours in the hot sun waiting for these people and they throw a fit when they get a little dehydrated. I was really starting to understand what Moses had to go through with his people.
The End of My Hebraic Adventure #
For a brief moment I thought about completing the entirety of the Exodus, but it was just so hot out! Even with the air conditioning from the service car blasting, I still felt uncomfortable. I had the driver head to the Sharm El Sheikh International Airport, the closest to our current location at Rephidim. I think if Moses were alive today, he wouldn’t blame me for abandoning the Exodus; modern society’s error in creating climate change has made it much hotter than it was in biblical times.